Wait
by With A Smile
Summary: All I can do is...


**NOTE:** _Part of WAS's I Will Rewrite club, because this just kind of fell flat for me as I reread it._

**A/N: **Yeah, I'm feeling a little rusty and this was just to warm my creative juices up again.

Dedicated to all you Aerith fans out there who think that all Cloti's despise her :D

Set around the time Cloud gets Geostigma. Pre-AC. Reading and reviewing make for happy WAS's ;) Thanks for clicking, at any rate.

**Disclaimer:** Final Fantasy VII and it's characters don't belong to me, Square has that happy pleasure.

* * *

**Wait **

_So, Aerith, I…_

_Maybe if you had…_

_If only I'd…_

_Sorry…_

An exhale.

_Aerith. Can you hear me? I know you're watching, but I don't know how to reach you…_

_I have so many things to think about… I don't know where to start… I know you'll listen, though._

A scratch on the head.

_This Geostigma…do you know the cure? I bet you do, because you were always good with healing. Think you could do something about it? I don't want to lose to a disease…I don't want to lose, period. If I was going to die, I'd rather be killed quickly than suffer through all of this waiting, the expectation, the wondering what day will be my last, if I still have time to…_

_Something quick would be nicer._

_Sorry, I didn't mean…_

_I'd just rather die doing something significant. Not to some disease that everyone has, something so common, die a meaningless death. Can you think o f something to do? I know you've done so much for us all already, but I'd appreciate it. I can't die._

…_I still have things to do._

A pause.

_Hey, Aerith, if you can see us…how is everyone else doing? I haven't heard from them in awhile. I don't want to face them now… what they would think of me, hero of the world, succumbing to Geostigma. I can't bear to see the disappointment- I can't bear to fail them._

_My family… what would they think of me? What would they do? Maybe it's better this way- this way they'll never have to know what happened to me, this way they can move on, thinking that I'm off doing something grand, rather than waiting around for my death. _

_Anything would be better than seeing their faces now. I want them to be happy, I do, and if they knew, they'd only be that much more miserable. I can't cause any more misery._

_I want Tifa to be happy, too. It's been so long since I've seen her smile, it's been so long since I've seen her at all. It's been so long I think I've forgotten how to even make her happy._

_If you can see everything, Aerith, can you tell me… are they okay?_

_I want them to be all right, I don't ever want to see them hurting…_

_What am I supposed to do?_

A shuffle.

_About Zack… sorry I confused you. I was pretty confused myself. Zack… he was somebody I always wished I could be, the pinnacle of perfection that I could never dream of reaching. He was always friendly and always smiling, and never had a negative word for anybody._

_I missed him a lot. At least, once I remembered who he was again. But when I did it wasn't a time for mourning, it was a time for action, and I guess all the time I missed when I should have been grieving I'm making up for now._

A cough.

_I get messages every now and then from Tifa. Updates on the deliveries, reminders of important things to do, and the occasional well wishes. She still cares, and I don't even know how to respond. I don't understand why she still cares so much, when I don't deserve it in the slightest. I just don't want her to care, because there's only one ending for me, and I don't want her to be hurt when it finally comes around._

_She shouldn't have to atone for my sins._

A shift.

_Because I_ have_ sinned…letting the blood of my friends spill without doing a thing about it. Zack, and you, you both died for the greater cause._

_You were both heroes._

_If I die now, I won't die for a greater cause. I'll die for nothing, I'll have stood for nothing. And I don't want that, I can't want that. After all the things I've done, after all the lives I've taken with the fall of the plate over Sector 7 and all the time I spent with Shinra, I have to repay my debts. I have to redeem myself, because there's innocent blood on my hands that make my eyes swim with scarlet visions. Because Shinra has no respect for human life, they pick off annoyances like people drink coffee- it's an addiction, but one nobody thinks twice about. And I was a part of that Shinra._

_I was tested on, I was Mako-infused, I was thrown into a world I wasn't ready for. Shinra experimented on human beings, because morals were an alien concept to them, a fly on the wall they didn't give a damn about. They changed lives without batting an eye, and I became who I was because of them._

_Funny that all I was to them was a failure._

A sigh.

_Don't let me fail anyone else…_

_But…_

_I don't know what to do with myself…_

_I don't even know if I have a day or a year left…_

_All I can do…_

_Is wait… _


End file.
